When David gives the baby to Caroline, my immediate emotional response was-sadness " oh no.... why did he do that?" I felt a deep sense of loss as a mother. I knew that Norah did not "consciously" know he gave the baby away... but mothers, most mothers, have a connection with their children; I knew that she would instinctively know that she had suffered a great loss, and yet she would feel something was "off." I also had a reaction to David- I felt utter "shock" how could a doctor - even a husband- unilaterally decide to give the baby away... I know... the times... I guess we will discuss that later.
Based on the setting and the time period, I understood on an intellectual level that - that was the way things were done due to their lack of knowledge, but really no, I did not understand his motivations at first because aside from the time period, his motivations were not fully understood until later in the book. He really had some issues! Did my understanding grow? Not really!!!! He had some issues....
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I think David's reaction to his daughter was purely selfish and not really a matter of the times. The only thing he could think of was how he felt growing up with a sister who had a medical condition that consumed his entire family. He did not want to go through that again and the possibility of her dying because remember, some children with down's syndrome have heart conditions that end their lives early. He thought he was saving his family from the heartache, but in actuality he was saving himself.
His selfishness caused his family the biggest tragedy! I agree, Nora knew in her heart that her baby was not dead. She did not have closure and even though she came to realize she must go on, David still did not want to. So even though he wanted her to get over the "death" of their daughter, he had not let go of the fact that he lied and gave their daughter away.
I don't know if David's actions were purely selfish... somewhere in his upbrining his ideas of grief/loss/disabilities etc. were distorted. I mean...you are saying that he saw himself as better than his family... and that may be true... but... then how did he get that way? Issues!!! I could say more... but I will leave it at that for now.
When David hands Phoebe off to Caroline my immediate emotional reaction was to cringe and hate the day his character was ever created! I honestly couldn’t believe what he was doing. To make things worse, he tells Norah that the baby dies! I don’t know what disturbed me more, the lie or the part where he gives the baby away.
Early on I did not understand David’s motivation; I blamed it on ignorance. True, some one commented on the fact that at that time Down’s syndrome was not really understood and that the disorder was associated with heart conditions; still this doesn’t make it right. I agree with what Goins said, mothers form a bond with their child during pregnancy and although Norah was unaware that she was having twins, she still felt that void that Phoebe left when she was handed to Caroline.
My understanding did not exactly grow…it was more of, now I could see “the method to the madness.” I saw what David went through with his sister and his mom’s suffering; but he failed to take into consideration how Norah would react to the death of a child as opposed to having a child with Down ’s syndrome. David reacted based on his prior experience, not thinking of the consequences it had on his family and his life.
I don't know where his idea of grief/loss could have been distorted. He resented his sister b/c she consumed most of his parents time and energy. His whole being was constructed based on his sister and how that made him feel. I still think he was running away from his upbringing. Remember when his parents came to visit him and how uncomfortable everyone was? He didn't see them again after that. I don't think the book mentions him going back to bury his parents. David is just warped!! He should have dealt with his issues before getting married and having children!!
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